I'll Have to Talk to My Therapist
by atomish
Summary: Marriage is a complicated thing indeed. Good thing there are therapists to help when things go wrong...right? Series of one shots about country couples going to marital therapy for help in their relationships. Chap 1: "Games Are Not Always Fun"


**A/N: **So I've been toying with this idea for a while now and then **YouMakeMyHeartJiggleLikeJello** (who you would probably know if you read some of my other fics 'cause it's usually her that makes me get off my lazy butt and actually write them 3) showed me this audio clip of France and England and some therapist lady by the English dub and then she also showed me reactions of people watching the scary face videos and yeah xDD

So sorry, for rambling but this will just be a series of oneshots about this therapist lady (who is not an OC but not a canon character either; she's not that important really, just a plot device) and the Hetalia nations who are nations in here just nobody knows, like usual. So that means if you've got couples you want to suggest, feel free and maybe I'll write them :D

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Axis Powers Hetalia characters, Youtube, Minecraft or anything else you recognize. **

**Warning: Yaoi/BL/guy on guy; I am also not a qualified therapist so everything the doctor says in here is probably not true. For all those real therapists/aspiring therapists out there, I'm sorry if you're offended. I didn't mean to ~ **

(sorry for uber long A/N but I just had to say all that OTL)

**Games are not always fun: Russ/Ame**

With the divorce rates rising as they were, she was certain that studying marriage therapy in university would guarantee success after school. Many had warned her about ruining her own marriage but she wasn't concerned; being raised by a feminist basically determined that she would be single for her entire life. And she had no regrets being lonely either. Two cats were more than enough.

It was her second year working at this counseling office and she had already built up her reputation as both an accomplished and popular therapist among local couples with marital issues. It was an exhilarating thought, in the least, to see her career take off like this and she was just beginning it, too.

On this particular morning, just as she was heading to her private office, the general secretary flagged her down. Quickly stepping back, she waited patiently for her coworker to put down the phone.

"Ah, Doctor, good of you to come this early," The man, an intern actually, smiled pleasantly. "You just got assigned a new case. They say they're coming in an hour or so. Said it was urgent."

She raised a brow. She had never gotten a marital case that was labeled 'urgent' before.

"Well…all right then," She nodded, taking the thin brown folder that was offered. "Thank you."

Closing the door behind her, she dropped into her leather chair, idly waking up the computer as she flipped open the file.

"Let's see here…" She murmured, eyes skimming the short lines of text. "Alfred F. Jones, twenty." She whistled at that. "Wow, young. That's a big problem these days." On her clipboard, she jotted that down before she continued. "Ivan Braginsky, twenty-five. Scary game."

She blinked.

Well, that was rather vague.

Chewing on the end of the pen, she shrugged before deciding to just wait for her clients.

Within forty-five minutes, in which she had taken a nap and fold some origami, noises outside in the lobby of the office made her bolt up in her seat.

She vaguely heard the secretary's voice before her door was slammed open, startling her as she tried to straighten her blouse.

"H-Hel—" She began but was quickly cut off by a tall blonde man.

"Hello~" He drawled, waving while wearing a grin much too large for someone who was in a therapist's office. "Alfred F. Jones is in the house!" He declared, taking one of the chairs in front of her desk.

"Hello, Alfred," She forced a smile on her face. If only for the sake of her job. "I'm Doctor—"

"_Privet_," A heavily accented voice suddenly cut in and she began feeling awfully interrupted today. "I am Ivan Braginsky, Alfred's husband."

She mentally made a note to herself: possessive, before she nodded at both of them.

"Well then, I will be your therapist," She reached out her hand and winced when both of them shook her hand unnecessarily hard: perhaps both of them have too much testosterone? "It's great to meet you."

"Ditto!" Alfred gave her a thumbs up while the tall Russian man merely gave her a creepy smile and took a seat slowly. She inwardly shivered before reaching for her clipboard.

"So you say it's urgent?" She prompted. "And you also mentioned a 'scary game'? What is that all about?"

"Hell yeah!" Alfred made a face, leaning forward to rest his elbows on her desk. "Okay so last night, right, I was playing Minecraft with Gilbert in Creative mode and I was _so_ pwning him! Like, _completely_ owning his ass! I mean, he was asking for it; he was being such a noob! But of course, he was saying that it's just 'cause Mattie was over and I was like, _pshhh_, yeah _right_, right 'cause I _just_ saw Mattie that morning and he was going to play hockey with Berwald—"

"_Matreshka_," Ivan interrupted with a hand on the other's knee. "I think you're getting a little off topic here." He chuckled as Alfred blinked before he seemed to remember that they weren't supposed to be this friendly and jerked away from the Russian with a pout.

She jotted down: forgetful. She hesitated before adding: ADHD beside Alfred's name.

"Well that's all right," She smiled, though she was sure that it looked much too strained. "So, about the scary game…?"

"Oh right," Alfred turned to her sheepishly before clearing his throat and fiddling with his shirtsleeve. "Okay, so I was playing Minecraft, right? And then Ivan just comes in the room and was all like, 'I have a fun game to show you'."

The doctor winced; that was _not_ a good sign at all, mimicking your spouse.

"And of course I'm like, 'all right, way cool' 'cause he _knows_ I love games," Alfred paused, his lower lip sticking out as he turned towards his husband. "Yeah, you _do_ know I love games. And you _used_ that. You took advantage of me!" His bright blue eyes began to grow watery and even the intimidating Ivan's smile wavered.

"M-Mr. Jones," The therapist cut in, feeling slightly avenged. "If you may continue your story?" She inconspicuously glanced at her watch, wondering when their session was over so she could be done with this dysfunctional couple. Well, at least for another week or so.

"_As I was saying_," He shot a glare over to the platinum blonde male who offered up another bone-chilling smile. "So he makes me stop pwning Gilbert and found some weird maze game, right? And so I started playing it and I was totally winning it too! I was so close to the end and then suddenly _BAM!_" At this point, he jumped up, flailing his arms with a wild look to his face. The doctor blinked as he watched him rant away. "This _insanely_ scary face was all up in my face and of course I was like 'holy crap what the hell is that on my screen' and the face was all like '_ahhhh_!' and my speakers just _had_ to be turned all the way up and—"

"Actually," Ivan cut in, a smirk on his lips, for a change. "I think it was more like you were screaming like a little girl, _da_? The neighbors called afterwards."

Alfred instantly turned onto the Russian, face red.

"I was _not_ screaming like a little girl! I was just surprised, is all! Heroes get surprised sometimes too! And the neighbors only called because I ran through the wall."

She tentatively cleared her throat.

"I _do_ see your 'problem'," She said calmly despite her inner self telling her to get the hell out of this office _now_; she was well taught, after all. "I'm sure that your issues are not just this one incident, am I right? This tension has been built up for many, many years." She chose to ignore that knowing glance they had cast between them. "As you may or may not know, the key to any relationship is communication which you two are obviously lacking here."

"We talk everyday," Alfred piped up. "I mean, we basically _live_ in each other's houses anyway, depending on whichever one's closer. By the way, we were in my New York apartment when that happened. That's why the neighbors were so pissed. I mean, if he _had_ to do that, he should have done it when we were in one of his houses in rural Russia. That way, if I _do_ run through a wall, I'll just run out into snow and goats or whatever is out there."

"Goats would be at Vash's house," Ivan twitched.

"Whatever," Alfred rolled his eyes. "And you know what? The worst thing is that he _recorded_ the whole thing and stuck it up on Youtube. Frikkin' _Youtube_ where the _whole, entire world_ saw it. _Literally_. Like every, single country on his damn planet." His face was slowly returning to a normal shade now. "Though, at least it's gone viral. I mean, that's at least what heroes deserve."

Hero complex, she wrote down.

"So, Mr. Braginski, why would you do something like that to your husband of…" She peeked down at her file. "…ten years." She stopped, a confused look dominating her face. Was that even legal, she wondered.

"I know, right?" Alfred was riled up again, kicking her out of her puzzled state. "_Ten_ frikkin' years after how many years of unresolved sexual tension? Too many, I say. And then he goes and does something like this! It's like he _wants_ to scare me away. Is that what you want, Ivan, for me to leave? 'Cause I can!" The American was bawling now, face wet with tears as Ivan groaned the slightest. "Actually, you know what? I'm filing for a divorce. That's right! A divorce, Ivan! I'm through with you and your jokes!" He cried through a watery, raw throat. "I'm calling my boss. This is good-_bye_!" And with that, he stomped out, slamming the door behind him.

Silence reigned after him.

"…Shit…" She allowed herself. This was her first case where everything had gone completely down hill. Groaning, she raised her eyes to the Russian man who was looking at the bomber jacket that was left behind in the American's rush to leave. ", I'm _terribly_—"

"That's all right," He smiled his childishly chilling smile at her and she swore she died a little on the inside. "I shall be taking my leave now, as well. Stay safe, da?"

As the door clicked behind that ominously dark back of the Russian, the therapist let out a relieved sigh. At least she would never have to see these two again…right?

**Notes:**

**Scary game: **You know those joke video/game stuff where the scary face pops up? Yeah, those :/

**Russian: **I do not speak this language! I use Google translate so sorry if it's wrong! ~ 'Privet'= 'Hello'; 'Matreshka'= 'Matryoshka' (as in the doll)

**Ages: **I made them up according to appearances! These are not canon!

**Ten years marriage: **So that means ten years after the Cold War ended. That's why the therapist was so surprised since Al is only twenty xDD Russia is a pedo OTL

**And that should be it OTL Hopefully the other A/N and notes will be shorter but this is the first chapter so yeah :/ Hope you enjoyed though~ ;D**


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